I’m back in Zhengzhou after an eventful two-week tour of China with Pat. We’re going to spend three days here before flying to the U.S., where I’ll recharge my batteries for three weeks before returning to teach another semester at Henan University of Technology.

I’ve already shown Pat the highlights of my home away from home, including my no-bedroom apartment, my unheated classrooms, my hanger clothes-drying system and my midget bicycle, which is so small my feet hit the ground every time I pedal.

Unfortunately, she’s also seen my bathroom, which looks like it belongs in the 19th century. There’s barely enough room for one person, the shower floods every time you use it and the toilet gets clogged if you put any paper in it.

The campus is a ghost town because everyone has left to visit their hometowns for the Spring Festival (Chinese New Year) national holiday. Even my favorite noodle vendor has closed up shop. But Pat has promised to make me my first home-cooked meal in five months. It will be the first time my kitchen has ever been used.